As soon as our shabby band turned up at the Tabard three things were obvious: it was a beautiful day, we were a player short and the minibus was not there. Daisy arrived with said bus a mere hour late and we were off... via an almost immediate stop for Daisy to attempt to purchase a 30mm socket for his motorcycle!

We raced to Aldworth, our driver admitting at one point that he had forgotten that he was not riding his bike, and found the opposition captain in whites, in the beer garden of The Bell. He announced that we would start either eventually or whenever – our choice. What a nice man.

Elvis lost the toss and we were put in to bat with Bully and Col Juan opening, the latter not missing the opportunity to turn the air blue on his way IN.

A new opening bowler has appeared in Aldworth, he is nine feet tall and breathes fire.

The Colonel had scored nine before he got a straight one. Daisy joined the scoreless Bully and 21 minutes later the score had moved on to 22, Bully out for one Daisy resolute on two.

Betty came in... Daisy left... The Andy grasped his Golden opportunity.

At 23 for four we needed a steadying influence. We got Moggie. It worked!

Betty and Moggie put on 30 for the next wicket and while not exactly out of the woods things looked more hopeful as Starfish appeared. Betty and he put on another 25 as Betty went for 33.

Elvis and Starfish then battered the merry hell out of Aldworth’s bowlers, fire-breathing giants or no, for nearly an hour. Elvis was eventually beaten as much by tiredness as anything on 40 and while bReally and Xero generously took a back seat, a local teenager was given the opportunity to face his elder brother’s bowling. Teatime had been fixed so Starfish was left stuck on 48 and the Pilgrims at 169 for seven.

Tea was marvellous.

The opening attack of Xero and Bully (Bully becoming the first Pilgrim in ages to “do a Legbreakers” (figure it out)) went for an expensive 26 off the first four overs then settled down and both finished their opening spells with wicket maidens in their analyses and only 20-odd runs apiece.

The Colonel’s three-over cameo had the ball up in the air on numerous occasions but always falling between fielders. Elvis turned to Starfish and he supplied a three-wicket maiden in his third over. When Aldworth’s number one decided to commit suicide by run out on 45 and more inspired captaincy brought man of the match Xero back to knock over the tail the day was ours.

We adjourned the 150 yards back to The Bell and many pints of mild were consumed with most of the Aldworth team staying to chat and watch the court.

For my money THIS is our best fixture and considering we had a minibus, I can only assume that anyone who cried off has been afflicted with terminal head cancer (nope! Ed). It really was a crying shame not to have had loads of support there and to not even show up with a full team was criminal. Please, everyone, look at the website let the captain know your availability and then check to see if you are playing.