A day of great Pilgrim rejoicing as certain defeat was turned into a creditable and well-earned draw on the back of a historical bowling performance, with Breaaaally playing a pivotal role.

Some Pilgrim confusion at the outset owing to the continuing saga of the hide-and-seek scorebook, and the additional complication of a stake having been driven through the heart of Arse... or something.

But to the rescue came Curly Breaaaally, a player with a library of old scorebooks – a double whammy or what?

Skipper Bully sprinkled holy water on the pitch, won the toss, and put Phoenix into bat.

Tipple and Xero opened the attack, every occasional bad ball being punished by the short boundary.

Hansie and The Colonel then produced a remarkable containment job, the latter dealing their opener his stealth card – a dolly to Marcus at point – the former clean bowling their number three.

Despite some remarkable fielding by Pammers at square-leg and point and Aussie Marty on the mid-wicket boundary, and some resilient chasing by the likes of Marcus, Tipple and Daisy, Phoenix’s left-handed number two scored a ton, and their fourth bat a half century.

Conspicuous by the absence of his Benaud-isms throughout, and not having even allowed himself a dive when one went screaming past him at backward square, Bully tried to steady the ship by taking the helm, Marty coming on at the other end. It didn’t quite work, but at least produced the dive that sullied the Reverend’s frock.

But history was a few balls away...

Curly was brought on, and the Pilgrims’ Signor Collina look-a-like felled the Phoenix centurion second ball thanks to a super captain’s catch on the mid-on boundary. Next ball their number four skied and was caught superbly at mid-wicket by Marcus. Then Moggie scooped up the attempted backward square boundary shot and the hat-trick was complete.

Disbelief and celebration, jubilation and confusion as for some reason the scoreboard remained frozen on 222 for two: Professor Pavlov would have been interested in the captain’s automatic reaction.

The Pilgrims’ innings provided plenty of material for Recorder Xero’s post-match hearing.

Daisy succumbed to an unfortunate yorker on three; Marcus mistimed a hook and saw his middle stump capitulate while on four; Hansie defiantly failed to play a shot and was given LBW plumb outside of off stump (six); Marty got off the mark before being stumped; Moggie played an atrociously mistimed shot way outside the leg stump and unbelievably managed to play on (five); and Tipple secured a boundary before being stumped.

This left The Pilgrims somewhat skewered on 32 with four wickets remaining and an awful lot of overs to go. But Pammers, having witnessed the departure of three partners, knuckled down with Bully who endeavoured to play a captain’s innings.

Although the boundaries flowed intermittently between some sensible defence, Pammers became flustered by being in for so long, and was caught while on 12. Then Bully offered the softest of catches to mid-on, dismissed on 25.

The other half of the captain’s innings was therefore left to the Colonel to effect. Xero managed a heroic 12 and the draw was seen out by man-of-the-match Breaaaally and the Colonel (25), despite Hansie receiving repeated bribes for extra balls in the dying overs.

Man of the Match: Breaaaally

Fines levied: £23.70

Presiding: Constitutionalist Xero