Aldworth is one of the most, if not the most, venerable fixture in the Pilgrims' calendar. However this year availability was decidedly scarce with even Hansie being a no-show (for which he was routinely fined) which entailed some frantic recruitment in the preceding week resulting in Tipple coming out of Pilgrims retirement (who said he could retire? ed), as well as Sid (Flymo's mate) and James (Tipple's Kingston colleague) making their debuts.

It was a lovely sunny afternoon in rural Oxfordshire - jugs of mild flowing, ample pub grub... all leading to a most amenable start to the afternoon before we ambled over to the ground whereupon captain Bumpy won the toss and elected to bat.

Sniffing Smellie

Hopes were high that with Boris and Edgar's impressive opening partnerships for the season so far, there would be ample time to allow for the effects of pre-match pints to wear off (or get added to) before taking the crease. However, both our openers were back in the hutch after only 13 balls, Boris bowled by a young charger rustled up from behind the bar in the Bell, replete in black trackie bottoms, and Edgar lbw to the potent Smellie, for five and two respectively.

Debutant James stepped up to the oche and after surviving a chance first ball, swiped a four down the ground before also being dispatched. Kommander came and went the same way as Edgar, paving the way for debutant Sid to enter the fray. Sid, aka Sid Anxious, was doing a great impression of a cat on a hot tin roof prior to his entrance as it was his first game of cricket for nigh on 20 years, and he had the misfortune to sniff a Smellie snorter through to t'keeper for a female drake.

The Pilgrims were rocking worse than the Aussies at Headingley at 13 for five, and were in such severe danger of an early capitulation that talk around the scorers’ table had already moved to getting in a 20/20 game after the main event á la 2009 as it would be over so quickly.

Enter Flymo!

"O ye of little faith" (TM the late, great Ron Pickering - various commentaries: Olympics, Commonwealths, We are the Champions, 1970’s/80’s). Those doom-mongers did not reckon on the Flymo. Mixing textbook forward defensives with his trademark mow, he, with the help of an even more relaxed than normal Moggster (the mild of the Bell and the green, green grass of Aldworth being particularly to his liking today), successfully blunted the Aldworth opening salvoes, so that by the time Bumpy and Google came in they had bowled their overs and our late middle order was able to rebuild the innings.

Google and Bumpy had come up on the train with Google's Brian and sister, (now known as the Googlettes), and continued their fruitful partnership by adding vital runs with well-measured defence and lusty blows into the bushes. The Bishop added some equally lusty blows, although he was severely admonished for allowing Judge Tipple only one sighter before carelessly holing out, to get us to a total of 132 which certainly made far more of a game of it than had seemed feasible an hour earlier.

The usual fantastic array of hearty country fare was greedily consumed by the Pilgrims especially those who didn't trouble the scorers too much before we lurched onto the field.

Swinging

Aldworth must have been reckoning on a chance of gaining revenge for last year's defeat. However they can consider themselves distinctly unfortunate to face what was by all accounts the most accomplished and distinctly un-Pilgrimesque opening bowling that the Tabs has ever produced. Google and The Bishop had the ball on a piece of string - there was more swinging than in a middle-class cul-de-sac in 1970's Surbiton.

Wickets tumbled. When one of Aldworth’s more junior members came into bat, Google showed a startlingly impressive change of pace with some left-arm spin of a quality never before demonstrated by a Pilgrim. On came Bumpy, who if anything was even more impressive than his figures would suggest (5-4-4-2); his bowling was a joy to watch. The Pilgrims even had a field that resembled the 70's West Indies test match team with a full cordon of slips and gullies.

Boundary entertainment

Even more of a joy to watch were the Googlettes on the boundary edge who, along with Boris’s fiancé, were doing a sterling job of keeping Tipple's and Edgar's progeny in check. Tipple and Edgar were keeping an eye on their kids. Why the rest of our fielders were so interested in the game of catch our new cheerleaders were instigating I have no idea. With the Aldworth reply in disarray, Bumpy finally pulled himself off (excuse me? Ed.) and allowed some of the others to have a go. Debutant Sid came on for his first three overs in 20 years, and immediately drew comparisons with the recently-retired Murali. Kommander delivered his customary lollipops to grab another couple of cheap wickets. Even Edgar managed a season's first in bowling an over consisting of only six balls before Boris applied the coup de grace, to ensure victory by 68 runs.

All retired to the Bell for more jugs of beer while Judge Tipple delivered the verdict. Bozza, The Bishop and Xero erected their tents in the field, Moggie picked his spot under a bush before sampling Aldworth's delights with the opposition which make this fixture such a highlight of the calendar. This was especially so for Flymo who visibly glowed in his MOM award for his efforts in thwarting the Aldworth attack. Hard to believe I know, but he was even more effusive than normal on the trip home! Roll on next year!!