After a couple of inactive Sundays the Pilgrims eagerly awaited their trip to Phoenix – especially after the valiant efforts of Kommander to rustle up a full team with Warrior committing to be there on his way back from a heavy sesh in Birmingham and a new Pilgrim, Rob from Kommander’s hockey team completing the XI.

Anticipation was dampened by the news emanating from Cardiff where English wickets were falling with amazing regularity – and we still hadn’t left the Tabard! However Boycs in his inimitable fashion kept us amused with his radio musings: “They’re batting like twerps!” being our favourite. But after considering pressing on to junction 32 on the M4 to help out we decided to turn off at junction seven as planned.

Skipper Bumpy lost the toss but Phoenix put us in anyway so he had his wish. Edgar and Fingers opened and after some sweetly-struck boundaries to take us to 24, Edgar managed to find the square leg fielder when there was 30 yards of wide open space either side of him. Twerp! In came a bleary-eyed Warrior to be cleaned up second ball. Hungover quacking twerp!! No worries however as in came Kommander, standing atop of the scoring charts, surely he would fill his boots on this track with a fast outfield and short boundary – alas no – a not-wholly-convincing lbw appeal saw the back of him for a single. Unlucky twerp!!! In came his hockey playing buddy Rob to accompany Fingers, however Fingers was soon on his way for an attractive 23. At 40 for four we were indeed batting like Boycs had described.

Rob’s unique style – how a cross-batted hockey swipe could plant a ball so far and so straight over the bowler’s head for six I will never know – certainly kept the bowlers interested and he was duly bowled, but only after adding 37 with Bumpy. Moggie came in but was soon on his way, victim to another piece of physics defiance, managing to drag one on to leg stump from at least three feet outside off. However Omlette came to the party as he and Bumpy found the short boundary with increasing regularity, but a wrenched knee which almost had him run out put our eggmeister off his stride and he was soon out stumped for 25 having putting on 67 with the skipper, during which Bumpy reached his 50 off only 41 balls with a second glorious six in an over.

In came Sven to give it some humpity, but he was soon back in the hutch, run out for the second duck of the day. Sven’s calling: “No... yes... no... yes... oh bugger, urrrggghh!” (As he tried to slide in but only succeeded in tripping up over his bat). Indecisive Twerp!

We commited the cardinal sin of failing to see out our overs as Juggs then Bumpy planted long hops down deep square leg’s throat. It would be unfair to chastise Bumpy however as without him we would have been right up Scheissen Strasse, given that he made a lifetime’s best and very entertaining 80.

Tea was a fine affair – on Egon’s star rating, it would have been a four out of five. Worthy of mention were the miniature pasties, Victoria sponge and especially the chocolate biscuit cake – so good was it that pieces were seen being stolen from plates as tea cups were replenished or as onlookers watched England’s plight.

The defiance being shown down the road galvanised the Pilgrims and we set about defending our total with steely determination. The opening overs were entrusted to Whippet and Juggs, with Juggs winning the battle for use of the wind. However one of the Phoenix openers took a liking to Whippet’s bowling and the short boundary on his leg side to get his side off to a flyer. By now Juggs had worked up a fair head of steam and he soon knocked over the off peg of one opener to bring in the dangerous Raj. In Juggs’s next over Raj slashed at a searing ball outside off stump and surely thought he had creamed a four through gully, only for Omlette to pluck the ball out of the air as coolly as you like to send him on his way. With Whippet bowling the number four for a duck we were back in the game, with spirits being further raised as news of England’s rearguard action filtered through from the boundary.

At this juncture, Moggie continued his run of bad luck by injuring his calf so badly that he couldn’t walk and needed to leave the field. Bumpy and Edgar gallantly carried him off the field of play only to dump him over the boundary as far as was inhumanely possible from the clubhouse – to really complete his bad day. Warrior took over the gloves, his hangover clearing by the ball as Juggs’s thunderbolts thudded into his mitts as well as into opener Hollister’s pads to remove him for a well-made 37.

There then followed a fruitful fifth-wicket partnership which was leading Phoenix to relatively comfortable victory, with Bumpy trying all he could to break the partnership by bringing on Omlette, Sven, Edgar and Kommander. All to no avail – though he wasn’t helped by a five-over spell which greatly contributed to the fines kitty – a dropped catch and some choice expletives from Fingers, a Harmisonesque opening delivery (c. Dec 2006) from yours truly, Warrior jumping over balls and Kommander with a ridiculous appeal from the boundary amongst the offences.

At long last on came the skipper and in his first over he induced a skier which Juggs pouched with consumate ease – the batsman had run three by the time it came down. Next over Omlette produced his second piece of fielding excellence by hitting the stumps with a bullet like throw to leave Phoenix six down needing 30 runs for victory and Pilgrims were sniffing a chance. Juggs then returned to have Neal caught behind by the Warrior for an invaluable 49 and we were now definitely in the hunt with Phoenix needing 19 to win with seven overs left but only three wickets standing. In his next and last over Fingers gave Juggs his Pfeiffer.

Tigerish fielding and tight bowling extended the game into the final over but ultimately Phoenix got home with two wickets standing and four balls remaining.

An excellent game that again went to the wire – our third of the season – where everyone went home happy buoyed by Jimmy’s and Monty’s resistance in Cardiff. Man of the Match was Juggs for his fantastic bowling – five for 16 off eight overs – though Bumpy himself turned in an equally meritorious performance with his 80.