There are two reasons for the brevity of this report: the less said about this woeful performance, the better; and your scribe is under extreme time pressure having foolishly allowed himself to be very late with two reports. I can only plead laziness to all further judging this season.

There is, quite simply, nothing good to say about The Pilgrims performance on that dark day in June. It all started with a complete inability to raise a side earlier in the week. There was no way we were going to cancel a fixture that has graced our season for many a year so we had to scrape a side together somehow.

On the day, we turned up with ten (thanks to Rob who showed great commitment as a new boy — I hope to see him play many a more game for us). But we only started with nine on the pitch as Hansie was desperately trying to recruit members of his family to fill in (which to his credit, he did).

The Pilgrims laboured in the field. Omlette and Kommander opened the bowling but were dispatched to all parts of the ground. They were replaced by Egon and Hansie who actually both bowled pretty well with Egon picking up a couple of well received wickets.

Peggy’s four overs of leg spin picked up two good wickets but unfortunately cost a few runs; Rob’s radar was slightly rusty and Junior and Fingers were given a fairly healthy spanking.

If the bowling was distinctly average, the fielding was risible. There were dropped catches all round the park and virtually everyone was guilty of letting their minds wander. Warfield declared on 244 for four. The Pilgrims trudged off knowing their fate was sealed.

Tea was taken and it was good.

Fingers and Peggy opened and looked in control for at least five overs but the run rate was way beyond us from the start. They both crawled into double figures but were out shortly afterwards. Egon and Rob both went for ducks. The Kommander’s and Omlette’s innings were enjoyable only in that yet again they managed to wind up Warfield’s equivalent of Mr Angry.

Moggie, Emma, Junior and Hansie managed two runs between them. Enough said I think.

We were all out for 73 and were beaten by 171 runs. Thrashed. Being philosophical, I take some consolation from the fact that we beat them by 181 runs last year...

Man of the Match: Warfield