Result: Lost by nine wickets. If I stopped there it would about sum up our day.

Hottest day of the year and all was well... good drive out to the ground... toss won... what more could we want?

The opening over and it looked good. Betty majestic – a four off their best bowler. “OK chaps, tally ho!”

But the bowling tightened up... statutory Daisy wicket.

Not downhearted, out strolled Penthouse. Drinks. Another ‘Grims innovation – both batsmen leave the pitch to say hello to friends!

62 for one. Not much else to say about the batting.

Inspiration! Bat on after tea! OK, that wasted ten more minutes – including the walk to the crease.

Fielding. Yes we did, but try as we might we could not get the buggers out.

OK. So the story goes on... back to the pub... more drinks... food at Andy’s... Arse and temper tantrum.

(Editor’s note: Hmm... interesting experiment in ultra-brevity there. Or a betrayal of our reporter’s boredom. Hard to say.)