The weather threatened on a stormy Sunday afternoon in Hounslow (that’s Hounslow Egon, you know – the one on the map near Heathrow). The Indian summer had obviously been sent from Birmingham rather than Delhi.

I would like to be able to report that the cricket made up for it, but it didn’t. We were a shambles. Kommander tried to rally the troops in the field, but he was met with a barrage of moaning and hands remained firmly in pockets for much of the match.

There were too many dropped catches to mention and I lived up to my name by slipping over on the grass like a complete idiot.

Whippet and Kommander had several slanging matches. Handbags were drawn, but alas no catches were made in the field – Moggie made two good catches down the legside and we had a couple of run outs. That really is all I can say.

Batting. Multiple hoofs across the line resulted in a poor defeat and one we can write off until next season. I would like to mention that Bumpy and Egon both achieved well-earned ducks, but Bumpy upgraded his to the d’or variety (that’s gold in French, Juggs).

I would like to say that cricket was the winner on Sunday, but it wasn’t. The boys from BA were.

On a cheerier note I did learn that half of the Pilgrims were in fact criminals from their days at Foyles (what? Ed.). Couple this with all the Down Under chaps we have in the team and we should be able to put in for a guest match with HMP Pentonville next season.

Good luck next week.