During the week rumour had it that Phoenix were in a position to field a team of 12.

No strangers to such idiosyncrasies, the Pilgrims duly arrived with 12 of our own, Farmer making a most welcome return to the squad, and Curly having sneaked in hoping to emulate his hat-trick (Really?) of however many years ago.

Penthouse won the toss and put us in to bat in a 40-overs game, the only problem being that Phoenix only had ten men, so while phone calls were made to bring their numbers up to strength, Egon was called upon to help out in the field.

As Boris and Gussie made a workmanlike start against openers Sri and Raj, Egon fielded one with his shin at backward point and exited the field of play, the injury swiftly being transmuted into a pulled hamstring, the end of which was not heard all afternoon. This coincided with a wizened fielder arriving for Phoenix.

The first wicket fell just short of the 50, Gussie succumbing to a pearl from Sri that kept low.

As the medium pace slowed dramatically, Boris found another gear while Penthouse became unstuck after having just squeezed into double figures, playing on to a tickler on the off.

Farmer and Boris looked set to make a 50 partnership until our honoured guest tried to sweep a straight one and was out LBW. This brought the Kommander to the crease, and with the run rate having climbed to a run per ball things really seemed ready to explode.

However the first ball he faced produced a huge appeal, contact allegedly being heard on the boundary, though not where we were or – more importantly – where the umpire was.

Boris had played a cracking innings, only chancing his arm on a couple of occasions. It had been stipulated that if he reached the Elysian fields of the 70s he was to play the Pietersen cheeky-change-grip-reverse-dink shot in celebration.

The conspiracy theory goes that having achieved this milestone he called what he felt was an easy single, but the Kommander was having none of it and sent him back to play the shot again.

The run-out that saw the fourth wicket down fell with the Pilgrims on 121 and Egon looked remarkably sprightly as he strode unhindered to the wicket.

A sharp contrast in styles saw the Kommander belting anything remotely threatening into the scrub beyond the boundary in front of the bat, Egon caressing the ball around the part of the wagon wheel behind it before eventually being bowled, in a partnership of more than 75.

Time in deliveries now being short, Bumpy just failed to make double figures before being bowled; Moggie got off the mark before succumbing to a second-bounce Yorker from the 75-year-old who’d got the call just before the match, thus providing the comedy non-batting moment of the innings; and Clarence supported the Kommander in the dying moments, the latter finishing on an unbeaten 87, sending his average into uncharted territory. The Pilgrims finished on a remarkably healthy 245 for seven.

Tea was taken in or around the vicinity of the clubhouse, this being functionally intact but in the throes of extension and renovation.

When the Phoenix openers came out, Penthouse had apparently decided to make a game out of it, there being two fielders in front of the bat and an extended slip cordon that seemed to be anticipating England’s first wicket in the ongoing test against South Africa.

Phoenix got off to a cracking start against the opening attack supplied by Farmer and Clarence, but modifications in the field ensured that Penthouse held onto a safe catch to dismiss their number two.

The Pilgrims’ 12-man syndrome had seen Hansie umpire for the first ten overs, after which he swapped positions with Really.

The bowling attack now switched to Bumpy and Whippet, Phoenix still being ahead in the chase. They were also afforded more overs of free hits on account of the field for Whippet sporting only the captain on the on-side at mid-wicket.

At Bumpy’s end however the appeals started to mount, and at the third time of asking Raj was given LBW, pirouetting back in front of the wicket before stepping out a mile beyond off: rooted to the spot in disbelief, the stare was not so much a “really?” as a “you can’t be serious,” though the appeal had been amply supported.

The following over Bumpy appealed for LBW unsuccessfully against Sri before bowling him for good measure with a corker next ball.

Unbeknown to most of the Pilgrims, a small piece of Phoenix history was being enacted in the form of three generations of a single family playing in the same team, the eldest having been called up and out of retirement at the 12th hour.

However when Bumpy appealed for LBW against Nathan-the-dad and it was given, the celebration inherent within the occasion vaporized, and although the sky remained much as it was the atmosphere beyond the boundary in front of the clubhouse was as dark as ditch water. When the 20-over mark was reached shortly afterwards the orange juice was positively spitting invective into the cups of the Pilgrim team.

The remaining 20 overs were something of a formality, not least after the Phoenix captain was dismissed for a creditable knock of 60.

The Kommander was diplomatic enough to take on the mantle of umpiring, and although the grandson/granddad tale was given an opportunity to flicker, if not quite shine on account of the lethal spin combination of Really and Penthouse, it just might have been taken in the wrong vein.

Phoenix finished on 151, and Farmer – though somewhat overawed by the occasion – made a good fist of the judging.

Man of the Match: Boris