To Windsor we ventured, seeking audience with the Queen. Alas, Her Majesty was absent – colouring of the troops, or something.

Fear not though, because there was cricket to be found at what is surely the most regal of grounds in all the land.

Some trickery with a gate, that fooled both Pilco and Gussie, meant a slightly delayed arrival, but soon we were in our whites and raring to go. Windsor Castle, in all its majesty, (if not Her Majesty herself) looked down from the hill as the Pilgrims were put in to bat.

Some wayward Cranbourne bowling sent extras to top score early on as Gussie settled into his work. Unfortunately Pilco, beaming with pride at being so close to the royal residence, cast an eye towards the mighty castle and forgot to get his bat in front and was soon undone. The mighty Worrier strode to the crease and somewhat quickly strode back, as the handy opening Cranbourne bowler found his line.

Kommander knew that there were plenty of runs to be had today, however a decision not to attempt actually to run any of them (lest he upset his finely balanced hangover) led to an untimely swipe and the third pilgrim wicket had fallen for a mere 40-odd.

Gussie was quietly accumulating and he really needed a steady partner at the other end to get the Pilgrims back on track. Lo and behold the steady hand on the tiller was provided by Bumpy. Apart from one minor aberration – celebrating his 50 while on 41 – a superb knock took el capitain to a personal milestone of 51.

This effort was only outdone by the stunning batsmanship of Gussie, who eventually fell for a Tabard season high. Selflessly attempting to accelerate the run rate, he fell just nine short of the full ton.

The Pilgrims were on for a big score, but attempts to accelerate towards the end of the innings saw Clarence and Gussie go and then a comical last two overs from Bambi and Omlette as they attempted to reproduce the same shot (French cut mm’s past the off stump) three times in a row.

200 was the final score and the Tabard headed to tea, brimming with confidence. Tea was a solid assortment of Mr Kipling’s finest and some very nice sandwiches. Good to see white bread making a return to the traditional cricket tea!

Towards the end of the innings Her Majesty returned to Windsor, sending Pilco into a series of salutes and standing-to-attentions that were somewhat confusing for those of us from the colonies.

But the Head of State’s presence nearby also bolstered Cranbourne, who set about the Pilgrims bowling in dogged fashion. Some fine opening bowling from Xero and Whippet had them reduced to a mere 20 or so runs off the opening ten overs.

Unfortunately, the able opening attack wasn’t well supported in the field as no less than four catches went down. Sharp chances admittedly, but as the saying goes “a ball to hand has got ching-ching written all over it.”

Cranbourne were making steady if unspectacular progress. After Whippet’s and Xero’s fine opening overs, some looser bowling from Clarence, Hansie, Omlette, Bambi, and Kommander let Cranbourne right into the run chase.

A missed run-out and another dropped catch soon had the Tabard under pressure, and the pressure began to tell as ones turned into twos and the odd boundary began to creep through. A few wickets did fall with Xero the lethal marksmen, bagging three, while Kommander and Bumpy chipped in towards the end. But steady progress by the Cranbourne middle order meant the required rate never really got over seven and they pushed through to victory.

A deflating defeat as the 200 posted is a rare sight for the Tabard bowlers to defend. So a definite poor report card for the fielding effort as bowlers and fielders failed to take their chances and increase the pressure on the batsmen.

Man of the Match was deservedly given to Gussie, who looked like an actual batsmen and is being called up into the NZ team (we’re rushing through the passport now).