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Tabard Pilgrims Cricket Club

OAKLEY KEEP CINDERS AS ’GRIMS SUFFER OPORTO HANGOVER (!)

Sunday, June 8 v Oakley.

By Pammers

The annual charabanc peregrination to the heart of God’s own county proved its usual success as a social occasion – surely a triumph in itself, following, as it had to, the well-publicised events in Oporto.

However, on the little matter of cricketing prowess, the Pilgrims finished second-best and the Cinders remain the property of Oakley CC for another year.

Among the questions to be answered on this occasion were: Would enough ’Grims be able to raise themselves for the challenge so soon after coming out of detox? Would the weather permit cricket this year? Would darts decide the destination of the Cinders? How would Daisy take guard?

Well, the first was answered in the affirmative as more than enough willing types turned up to play, giving skipper Betty the unenviable task of rotating his squad à la Sven-Goran Eriksson during an England football friendly.

Weather on arrival was equivocal. Off came the covers. On they went. Off they came. On they went. Off they came... Oakley won the toss and inserted the Pilgrims, cruelly ripping Bully from his lovely high chair and reveries of life in a “retirement castle”.

A promising start from Betty, Pilco and Penthouse got us to our first stumbling point – 53-3 (The Andy Roberts) and 53-4 (Pammers’s customary quacker). However, the score was kept ticking over by the Bolivian and the Commander before Daisy and the usually redoubtable Moggie were felled. A man-of-the-match-winning long-handled flourish of 24 by Bully took the score to 143 before he succumbed leaving a comfortable-looking Cus-Cus stranded on four. The skipper knew 143 was going to be tough to bowl at.

After a scrumptious tea (as usual) the Pilgrims took the field in arctic conditions, with the first round of substitutions seeing Lord Hansie, Xero and Reaaally on, in gridiron special teams style, to bowl.

Despite a shaky start, Cus-Cus and Reaally soon had Pilgrims tails up as Oakley were 29 for 2 – but the next wicket fell at 112 and in the interim we saw the Oakley skipper enjoy himself to 54. We knew the game was up, but the Colonel and Hansie helped themselves to a batch of youngsters before the ever-sociable Brian guided the home side, er... home, with a couple of overs – and wickets – to spare.

So the darts were not required, but what of Daisy’s guard-taking? Well, sad to relate it was very disappointing and undramatic (that’s not a word – ed. I know – ed.), save for the fact that having taken it, he demanded a new bat! Predictably, the moment did not escape the attention of visiting circuit judge Pte Pilco during the annual Barbecue Sessions.

Never mind. Good luck to the lads who turn out to try to win some silverware on Wednesday.

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